June 2018.

I’m hiding in the toilets at the Uber office, desperately fumbling with my phone, trying to find a meditation track. My vision is blurry, my hands are shaking. I’m in the middle of a panic attack.

I give up, rush home, and call my doctor.

“Alex, you’re burning out.”

At first, I was relieved, but then the shame spiral began. Why me? Why was I falling apart when everyone else pushed through? Why couldn’t I handle the pressure, the stress, the endless deadlines?

At the time, I told myself: I must be weaker than them. I’m not cut out for this. I don’t have what it takes.

But now I see things very differently. My burnout wasn’t a sign of weakness. It was my body doing exactly what it was designed to do. An alarm system going off long before my mind understood why. It was warning me early, giving me the chance to course-correct before it was too late.

That moment in the Uber office was the beginning of everything you’re about to read.

It wasn’t just burnout. It was a mirror. Forcing me to confront the invisible prisons I’d been living in for years, the ones I couldn’t see because I was too busy performing, achieving and pushing through.

I thought burnout was the problem, but the real problem was what caused it: an overactive mind trying to control circumstances and manage emotions I didn’t know how to feel.

If your life looks great on paper, but deep down you’re wrestling with overthinking, anxiety and the constant feeling that something’s missing, then this book is for you.

In the pages ahead, I’ll help you uncover the hidden forces that keep you stuck in these cycles. But most importantly: I’ll show you the way out.

By the time you turn the last page, you’ll know how to:

• Unhook from the mental loops that keep you stuck.
• Reclaim your emotions as a source of power.
• Live by your own agreements, not other people’s scripts.

This book won’t be about turning you into a “better” version of yourself, it will be about coming back to the version of you that never needed fixing in the first place.

Chapter 1:

CONCEIVED IN A THREESOME

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

I was conceived in a threesome.

But not in the way that you might think. I was conceived in a threesome of cultures. My mum is English, my dad is Danish, and I was born in France. When I lived in France, they called me “Rosbif”. When I lived in Denmark, I was “Frenchy” and in the UK “Danish Pastry”.

From the outside, it looked pretty cool. I spoke multiple languages and lived in different countries. But inside, it felt confusing: too English to be French, too Danish to be English, too French to be Danish.

I grew up between cultures that valued achievement, politeness and conformity. Together, they created the ultimate validation seeker.

Praise became my compass. If I achieved, I was okay. If I disappointed, I was not. Every grade, every nod of approval fed a fragile sense of worth that depended entirely on others.

By the time I entered the corporate world, this conditioning was invisible to me, until my first manager at Google told me, “Remember, you’re still on your probation period.” I felt something I’d never felt before… anxiety. A constant hum that just wouldn’t leave my body.

My solution? Control. Whenever I felt in control, anxiety would leave me alone.

So I started analysing every interaction, checking messages 10 times before sending them. My brain became a control centre, protecting me from mistakes, rejection and disapproval.

It worked for a while, got me a job at Uber and promoted within the first year. But eventually it became my prison. My mind never stopped working, even when my body begged for rest. And a few years later, that same drive that got me promoted had me hiding in the toilets, unable to breathe.